Not That Girl
by RosalieThropp
Summary: She wished, God knew she wished she was the girl who made him feel that way, the one who gave him a purpose. But she was just not that girl.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

**A/N**: Story based on the song "Not That Girl" from the Broadway musical Wicked. Set after "Beacon". Just my insight on Tess' feelings towards Oliver's relationship with Chloe. Let's see how this goes. Let me know if there are any grammar/coherence mistakes, okay?

Enjoy!

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><p>The morning sunlight reflected through the colorful stained glass mosaic of Watchtower's main window making Tess groan in distress. Clutching on one of the cushions in the small couch, she turned away from the offending window. Not that it would make any difference.<p>

She hadn't had any sleep during the night; the events of the last couple of days still reeling in her mind, a swirl of confused thoughts and uncertain feelings.

Alexander.

She had no idea of what was happening to him. The fact that the needle didn't even break his skin made her nauseous. He was just as confused and scared as she was. And the thought she tried to _kill_ him seconds after assuring him that everything was going to be _fine_ made stomach twist and bile rise in her throat.

_Despicable_ - Tess thought to herself -_ You're despicable, Tess._

It made her extremely frustrated that every time she thought she was changing for the better, she realized she actually wasn't.

Immersed in self-loathing, all she wanted was to curl up under the covers in her bed and sleep, forget everything that was going on in her life.

But she couldn't. The Luthor Mansion had been burned to the ground.

She had never considered the mansion her home; it was dark and cold, and had way too many skeletons in its innumerous closets. But oddly, Watchtower seemed even colder than the Luthor Mansion in that particular morning.

Convinced that her conscience wouldn't allow her any sleep, she readjusted her position on the couch and stared blankly at the big window in the hopes that the green pieces of glass would somehow tell her what to do next.

Oliver had told her once that green was the color of balance, healing and hope, which was exactly what she needed at the moment.

_And apparently I'm not going to get anytime soon_ - She thought. Sighing, she hid her face on her hands.

"Tess?" she heard his beautiful voice calling her name and questioned if she was losing her sanity.

"Tess?" the voice called her again, and she realized she wasn't hearing things.

She looked up only to find the blonde billionaire staring at her.

"Oliver" she stated, surprised by his sudden arrival.

"I heard about what happened" she said, sitting next to her on the couch "How are you holding up?"

Tess let out a humorless laugh "Let's see: Lionel is back, Lex has a clone and I have no place to live…I'm doing great" she answered, her words full of sorrow disguised with a thin layer of sarcasm.

Oliver looked deeply into her eyes, searching for the strong, confident Tess he knew, and he was worried when he couldn't find many traces of her in those green eyes.

He held her delicate hand in his.

"I'm really sorry" he said.

It had been so long since the last time he had been this kind to her that she couldn't help the warm feeling that spread through her body.

_Hands touch, eyes meet  
>Sudden silence, sudden heat<br>Hearts leap in a giddy whirl  
>He could be that boy<br>But I'm not that girl__._

"Thanks, Oliver" she said shyly.

He gave her a sympathetic smile "Would you like some coffee?"

"Actually, coffee would be great" she said with a small sigh.

"Can't sleep, huh?" Oliver asked as he crossed the room to get the two cups of coffee he had brought.

"Actually, I got solid fifteen minutes" she joked.

"Double espresso" Oliver offered her the cup of coffee "I know you have trouble sleeping. You might need this"

She smiled at his kindness "Thanks."

They stayed in silence for a few minutes, just sipping their coffees.

"You know, watchtower is still a mess. I can make a few phone calls and check you in a hotel until you can find a new place" Oliver offered.

She shook her head "No, it's okay. I can do it by myself later"

Oliver laughed "You and your need to show how independent you are, right Mercy?"

Her heart skipped a beat at his term of endearment for her. It had been a while since he'd called her 'Mercy'.

_Don't dream too far  
>Don't lose sight of who you are<br>Don't remember that rush of joy  
>He could be that boy<br>I'm not that girl_

"Why are you doing this, Oliver?" she questioned.

The blonde hero gave her a confused look "Doing what?"

"Being this nice to me"

Oliver rolled his eyes "Tess, I thought we had established that we were past the 'frenemie' faze of our relationship"

She quirked an eyebrow "Yeah, but I didn't think we had reached the 'friend' status either" she put the her coffee down and crossed her arms in her chest .

Oliver laughed at her spitfire attitude.

"Come on, Tess. I don't agree with many things you have done in the past…But I've done many things I'm not proud of either" He looked up into her green eyes "And even though we've been through a rough path, I still care about you"

The sudden confession took her off guard "You do?" she whispered.

Oliver smiled "Of course I do. Mercy, you know how much you meant to me. The time we were together was one of the best moments of my life. We were young and spontaneous and carefree. Remember?"

She couldn't help but smile at the memories.

_Lazy weekends on the beach. Skinny dipping in the middle of the night. Wacthing the stars. Chinese food and movie marathons. __Spending whole days in bed. Talking. Laughing. Kissing._

"Yeah, I remember" she said, lost in nostalgia.

_Every so often we long to steal  
>To the land of what-might-have-been<br>But that doesn't soften the ache we feel  
>When reality sets back in<em>

"We shared great times together, Tess" he said, holding her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

She nodded "Yes, we did"

He flashed another one of his charming smiles before letting go of her hand.

"Is chocolate chip still your favorite?" he asked, turning his back at her and going through a paper bag.

She laughed "Yeah"

He handed her a chocolate chip muffin "Some things never change"

Tess smiled at him.

"Hope you got me one of these too" a cheerful voice said, making Tess' smile fade.

Oliver beamed "You bet, sidekick"

Chloe walked up towards them carrying a small bag.

"Hey, Tess. How're doing?" the blonde girl asked, wrapping her arms around Oliver and resting her head on his broad chest.

Oliver lovingly kissed her hair.

_Blithe smile, lithe limb  
>She who's winsome, she wins him<br>Gold hair with a gentle curl  
>That's the girl he chose<br>And Heaven knows  
>I'm not that girl<em>

The sight made Tess' stomach turn into a knot.

"I'm as okay as I can be right now" the red head answered, trying to remain composed.

Chloe smiled "Good. I brought you a few things I thought you might need" she handed Tess the bag she was holding "just a few borrowed clothes from Lois, a teeth brush… these things, you know. Just until you can get settled in"

Tess forced a smile "Thanks, Chloe. I really appreciate"

"You're welcome" she smiled and looked up at Oliver "How about that muffin, huh?"

Oliver gave her a goofy smiled and kissed her softly on the lips, making Tess look away to hide her discomfort.

_Is the PDA really necessary?_ – Tess bitterly thought.

She cleared her throat, making the couple turn their attention back at her

"I'm just going to…" she pointed to the bag in her hands and to the stairs.

Chloe nodded "If you need anything else just…"

"I will, thanks again guys" she said before going upstairs.

From the second floor, she could still hear the lively couple giggling. Silently approaching the banister, she got a glimpse of Chloe feeding a piece of her muffin to Oliver.

Her heart sank at the scene before her.

She looked at Oliver, his smiled, the contented expression on his face. He seemed genuinely happy and fulfilled and _alive_. She wished, God knew she wished she was the girl who made him feel that way, the one who gave him a purpose.

But the sad reality was that she wasn't that person anymore.

She was just not that girl.

_Don't wish, don't start  
>Wishing only wounds the heart<br>I wasn't born for the rose and the pearl  
>There's a girl I know<br>He loves her so  
>I'm not that<em>_ girl._

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><p><strong>Reviews are LOVE :)<strong>


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